


Turmoil

by TannerWuuut



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, honestly thought this up one day and just started writing it, lena gets told the super secret and angst ensues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-11-29 19:10:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11447232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TannerWuuut/pseuds/TannerWuuut
Summary: “You're only considered evil because of me.”“Don't.”“Do you want me to prove how evil I can be?”“Please…don't…”





	1. Chapter 1

The cute reporter from CatCo was Supergirl.

 

_ The. Cute. Reporter. Was. Supergirl. _

 

If it hadn't been the years of restraint hammered into you from the Luthors, you probably would have been an angry mess. Yet, you stood behind your desk, arms crossed as you tilted your head sideways at the reporter/superhero in front of you with her shirt unbuttoned and the large S insignia staring back at you tauntingly.

 

The said cute reporter was your best friend. Your, sadly, only friend here in National City. Ordinary Kara Danvers was Supergirl and you hated that.

 

Why did you hate it?

 

Simply because you hadn't seen it.

 

Why would you? It's not like everyone is on the lookout for Supergirl's secret identity in their blonde, bubbly, hyper, best friend. You were simply too smitten to see what was right in front of you. You were  _ in love  _ with the idea of having close friends, close friends who did not care that your last name was connected to a deranged homicidal man. You were blinded by her sunshine.

 

And that is not very Luthor like.

 

“Lena?”

 

You tore your gaze from the S to look Kara in the eyes. Quickly masking the anger and sadness that threatened to overflow.

 

“Lena, I'm…I’m really very sorry for not telling you right away. It's just-”

 

“Secret identities are supposed to be secret, right?” Your voice sounded hollow to you, too deep and smooth. 

 

The corner of her lip twitches upwards, “R-right! I mean, you don't think I kept it from you because…”

 

“Because I'm a Luthor? Darling, is that really another reason?” You smirked at her, but the sharp pain of that being a reality resonated in you.

 

“No! No no no no. Lee. I don't care that your brother hates...I don't care about that. Your safety. Your wellbeing. Your...you. You are  _ SO _ important to me that I wanted to wait to tell you.” She had stepped up to you, shirt still unbuttoned. The warmth radiating off of her was stifling. It wrapped around the both of you in a thick cloud and as much as you wanted to take a step back, you couldn't.

 

And despite your struggle, you reached up and started buttoning her shirt back up. Fingers deftly and smoothly grabbing each button and slowly bringing her shirt to a close. It felt all too fast and all too slow in that moment, wrapped up in everything that was Kara.

 

“Kara Danvers, you have been standing in front of me this whole time, bringing much needed light to my life, and I have not seen you fully-” you fixed her collar and slowly dragged your hands down her chest, hands stopping on the vague imprint of the S,- “And for that I'm sorry. Not because of my oblivious observation skills, no. I'm sorry for not caring that you're Supergirl. You are Kara Danvers to me, and that's all who you will ever be to me. Stopping crime and criminals can be hobby of yours, a dangerous hobby my best friend likes to partake in. But something that makes Kara, Kara.” 

 

She quickly grabbed your hands before you could take them away, immediately rubbing circles with her thumbs. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and for a second, just a second, you felt sorry for the anger that bubbled low in you.

 

Anger you had no idea for what. It was mostly likely at yourself anger, but in this moment you had it directed at Supergirl.

 

Just Supergirl. As if the Kryptonian had found a home in your best friend and made everything more difficult for your friendship. You liked the superhero but only to a degree. And that degree was very,  _ very _ , low.

 

“You're not mad that I kept this from you?”

 

You glanced up at her, staring back at her intense gaze before tugging lightly on your hands. Her grip tightened and she leaned closer to you.

 

You gave a soft sigh, “No, I'm not mad. You kept it from me, to protect me. I understand that…”

 

“But?”

 

A pit opened in your stomach and you wanted to drown in the emptiness. How do you say, what you're about to say?

 

“I...I wish you hadn't told me. I wish you had kept me in the dark about this,-” you sent a glare at her chest, “-I...Kara, I wish I just had Kara still.”

 

You were crying now.

 

\\-/-\\-/

 

The honey colored liquid was mesmerizing. You had downed three glasses before this one, but nonetheless it was still enthralling. You had feigned acceptance when Kara had finally told you she was Supergirl. Happiness even after the initial shock and anger. But what had been easily covered up had only doubled once you were alone.

 

You knew she could take care of herself. She can handle anything thrown at her. She was a goddess amongst humans. Amongst aliens.

 

But her arch nemesis happened to be your brother for he had almost succeeded in killing her cousin. Numerous times even.

 

You.

 

Were a danger to her.

 

And as much as she liked to brush it off, you knew there was wariness lingering behind her bright blue eyes. The hesitation darkening her eyes slightly.

 

You grabbed at the glass only to have slid further from reach. A groan left you as the realization hit you. You were tipsy.

 

Lex had fallen over the edge with superman. His obsession furthering into madness and ending with murder.

 

And now, knowing that sweet, sweet Kara was flinging herself into danger as Supergirl, putting herself on your families radar in the worst of ways. It hurt you to say, you hated her.

 

The reasons might be selfish for that sliver of hatred, but it was there, purring almost soundlessly beneath your skin every time Kara Danvers was near. You didn't want to hate her, but all you could think of whilst she was rambling on about someone called Snapper, was how could this woman do this to you? How could she befriend you and fight your family's attempts on her life?

 

Was this some sort of sick joke her and the man of steel had going? ‘How far can I make it as Lena's friend before she finds out it's fake?’

 

Or were they using you for intel on your family, a human rolodex on the Luthors?

 

“Why did you have to tell me?” You slumped forward and reached lamely for the glass of scotch.

 

You heard boots behind you and immediately tensed up, sitting up slowly before spinning your chair to face the door.

 

A windblown Kara stepped in with a small smile. Or or was it a windblown Supergirl?

 

Who is she now?

 

“Hi Lena, I'm sorry for taking off earlier. Danger was afoot.” Her giggle went unnoticed by you.

 

“Are you Supergirl or Kara right now?”

 

“What? I'm-” she looked down and fingered her costume before looking back up at you with confusion on her face. “-I'm Kara. Costume or not? You know now, I'm...not two different people to you. Not anymore…”

 

You arched an eyebrow as you slowly looked her up and down.

 

She squirmed slightly as your gaze went up her legs, noting the scuffs and soot on her cherry red boots. A small run in her tights. A black line smudged on the edge of her skirt. A few creases along her front. And finally, black marks that vaguely looked like bullet marks on the large S.

 

You skimmed her neck and traced her face with your eyes, noting the small scar above her left eye, the slight frown between her brows, and the down turn of her pouty lips. You briefly made eye contact before turning in your chair and pulling yourself to your desk roughly.

 

“All I see is Supergirl.”

 

“Lena you  _ know _ now...why is this difficult for you?”

 

“I…”

 

A tentative hand touched your shoulder but you reacted harshly and jerked away, your chair sliding along the floor. Your eyes had shut and your breathing picked up, heart racing as you tried to tell yourself, it  **_was_ ** Kara.

 

Supergirl is Kara.

 

Kara is Supergirl.

 

Supergirl is Kara.

 

You liked Kara.

 

You tolerated Supergirl. 

 

You made Kara laugh.

 

You made Supergirl wary.

 

Who did you like again?

 

“Lee...it's me.” Her voice was low and soft, slow and gentle as if she were afraid of scaring an already startled animal.

 

How did you become this in less than an hour?

 

“But as Kara or Sup-”

 

“Lena! Stop! I'm not two different people! I'm Kara Danvers! Your best friend!”

 

You slapped the desk, standing up abruptly as you got in her face, “I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask to be let in on some goddamn secret! I didn't  _ want _ to know that my best friend is a superhero or or that she's related to  _ fucking Superman _ ! Couldn't you have looked past yourself and into my life to see that I am absolutely  _ drowning in my own secrets _ ?! Couldn't you have been my best friend like I am yours?! I can't b-breathe when I have a moment to myself the only time I c-can is when you come round for lunch or when you feel I need to go home. You've n-never once saw that I am choking on nothing that's full of something. Why c-couldn't you be my best friend...like I am yours…”

 

You felt light headed as you softly punched her chest, right in the middle of the crest. The large S meant a lot of things to you and everyone in the world. But right now it weighed heavy on your heart as a reminder that your best friend had other more important obligations than to coddle you every time your family put you in the spotlight due to their actions.

 

“Lena…”

 

“Don't. Don't even try to apologize or pretend that you understand...you can't do that to me.”

 

You heard Kara take a deep breath, the air shuddering around the both of you as she used her powers to turn you around and bend you over the desk. Letting out a small squeak of surprise as your face was pressed firmly into the hard surface and Kara’s hard body pressed roughly against yours, her curves fitting yours perfectly.

 

Arousal stirred in you as you tried to squirm under her, but she pressed down harder against you and made moving impossible.

 

“You’re only considered evil because of me. Because of my cousin and your brother and their doings.”

 

Kara’s hand slid down your back and over your ass in a swift movement, her fingers finding purchase alongside the edge of your panties. Her fingers swift as they snapped the fabric and yanked off you in a fluid motion. You gasped at the cold air rushing and hitting your hot sex in the same moment, “Kara…”

 

“I know you want this as much as I do, I can  _ smell _ you.-” She groaned lightly, hot air brushing down your neck, raising goosebumps all over your body, -”Jesus Lena, this was the main reason I wanted to tell you... _ I want you. _ ”

 

She nuzzled your neck and bit softly, as if testing boundaries, which had you  _ writhing _ .

 

“Do you want me to prove how evil I can be?”

 

“Kar…”

 

“Words, Lena.”

 

You tried arching back against her and found that you could move in the slightest, you pressed against her groin and felt her heat radiating off her.

 

“Fuck, Kara...Fuck me,  _ please _ .”


	2. Unrest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well well well...this took forever haha honestly smut isn't my forte or a thing I generally write. And I had someone bugging me about finishing this up, but as I was writing it turned into something else while also into a Red!K Kara fic.
> 
> I might add more parts...who knows. my schedule is WIDE open for writing. lol
> 
> enjoy?
> 
> (it's unedited and hastily uploaded, feel free to leave criticism)

Today was the day you were going to tell Lena Luthor you’re biggest secret.

 

You had a  _ major _ crush on her.

 

And slip in the fact that you’re Supergirl while doing it. Alex gave a wary go ahead, Maggie stepping back from the conversation the second Lena was mentioned and by no means was any help reigning in the storm that is Alex Danvers, your older sister.

 

You had it all planned out, waltz in like as if you had the intention of taking her home due to the late hour, get her ready to go but then... _ then _ .

 

Cue your flustered shyness and mention that you had something to tell her. Of course, acting jittery and distant the entire time. Giving her notice that you indeed had reason for the flusteredness.

 

It was a good plan, solid, catered to your actions around her already. But you had to tap into some Supergirl confidence to start. And that was hard to shake once started.

 

You took a deep breath and breezed past Jess’s vacant desk, noting that the secretary had barely left just before you arrived. Pushing softly on the heavy wooden door after a brief knock, scanning the room for anyone else (you didn’t hear anyone else with Lena, but you can never be too sure.) before catching site of the stoic CEO. Her outfit had your throat dry in an instant and the decision to tell her now was even more agreeable than the argument with Alex.

 

_ She looked spectacular. _

 

She had a black pencil skirt on with a off white silk blouse to match, hair done up in a tight bun. The air in the office smelled of her perfume and it was intoxicating.

 

“Lena! How’d I know you’d still be here?!”

 

Green eyes found yours as she arched an eyebrow, breaking eye contact to look down, “Well...you did text not ten minutes ago asking if I were still in my office.”

 

Heat rushed forward and you felt the blush creep up from your collar.

 

“ _ Riiiiight _ ...well...I’m here as the residential gentlewoman to take you home.”

 

“Of course, is everything alright? It’s not like you to forget like that.”

 

Glancing around, not making eye contact, was the exact route you had intended to take. But now everything was going according to plan and you felt real anxiety start piling up in your muscles.  _ Shit _ .

 

“Well I...just have a lot on my mind lately. Do you need help packing up?”

 

She shook her head as she sat down at her desk and started shutting down her laptop and clearing her desk of papers, glancing at you from the corner of her eye every few seconds. You rubbed her back of your neck slowly, feeling the silence get the better of you. “Right...Uh how was your day?”

 

She looked at you fully, thoughts swirling in her gaze before turning back to her process of breaking down her work, “Dismal. Save for your lunch surprise. Life is never dull with me, Miss Danvers!” She winked at you, signature smirk in place as she looked at you.  _ Oh Rao… _

 

“It truly isn’t…”

 

“Are you sure everything's okay? You look ready to pass out, dear.” She closed her laptop as she looked at you carefully, eyes pleading that you speak true in this moment, “You can trust me, Kar. We’re best friends.”

 

You let out a squeak as you replayed her words, “I-I know. Gosh, I know, Lee. But like...I honestly don’t know what I’m feeling right now…”

 

“Well what’s the matter? What is making you feel like this?”

 

Muttering, “You.”

 

“Me? What have I done? Have I made you uncomfortable?” Sitting straighter, the concern morphed into worry and confusion as her hands fluttered over her flawless attire. A groan almost escaped you as you watched her pat herself, gently smoothing over her unblemished skin of her neck, fingers ghosting over her pink tinged cheeks before looking back at you with the same unguarded expression. 

 

Striding forward, “No no no no no Lena, gosh no. I m-mean like...I...need to tell you something.” It’s now or never.

 

Choosing to remain silent, she nodded for you to continue. But her silence resonated heavily in you, as you knew she was more than likely thinking up scenarios that didn’t go in her favor. And you knew you had to act quick to resolve them.

 

“Look I just…” You started unbuttoning your shirt instead. Immediately taking on Supergirl to help you do this as smooth as possible.

 

Pulling your shirt open, you stared down at the ground as you waited for her reaction. Staring at the floor in sudden doubt of this move. Maybe speaking would have been more favorable as an outing instead of waiting on bated breath for her reaction.

 

But nothing came.

 

You dared a glance up at her and saw the pensive look turn into an unreadable expression.

 

\\-/-\\-/

 

Everything was on fire in you as held Lena against her desk. The heat coursing through your veins as you thought of all the wicked things you could to her here, thoughts of how her screams of your name would sound. Your middle throbbing with the idea of it.

 

You had to run out and save the day just as Lena was situating with the secret. And during your heroic act, you got shot with a weird bullet. The metal grazing your skin, a red streak slid along your upper arm, slicing through the suit and cutting a straight line along your bicep. You didn't think anything of it after you saw the wound healed and closed up, immediately ganging up on the criminals before dumping them off at NCPD or the DEO.

 

It irked you afterwards that the bullet had been able to pierce your skin. You felt you had to tell Alex or J’onn about it but the only thought that came to mind after tonight’s events was Lena Luthor.

 

And now you had her pinned to her white desk in her office panting loudly against your hold. Heat coursed through your veins as you looked down at her, her black hair fanned across her back and desk, cheeks flushed with want, her heart pumping loudly into your ears.

 

You nudged your hips forward a fraction, getting a small groan from her, but also having the desk move with the both of you.

 

Groaning slightly in disgust, “You couldn’t have a more sturdy desk? This pathetic thing will never hold against our wishes.” You leaned down and nipped at her ear, eliciting a gasp as she nodded furiously.

 

“I c-can get a new one.”

 

“That doesn’t help the situation right now,  _ babe _ .” You lifted her up, turning her around in the air to have her wrap her legs around your waist as you sped over the couch. Gently situating the both of you on the white cushions, you finally dared a glance at her. Her cheeks were deep red and her eyes blown black, teeth clenched as she breathed hard and fast. Her lips with glistening in the low light of the office, making you groan lowly in want.

 

You ran your fingers up her thighs and over her covered stomach, one hand going further up as the other worked under her blouse. The second you touched her soft skin, you felt everything break away from you. Leaning forward swiftly, you captured her lips in a searing kiss, almost growling in satisfaction as she yielded to your wishes.

 

Kissing the length of her jaw, moans emitted loudly from the younger woman as you nipped and licked her neck. “Do you want this? Do you want me?”

 

A thick cloud of worry and fear fogged your mind when you realized what could come of this, you needed consent first.

 

Her fingers grasped at your suit covered arms and her legs tightened around your waist. A sharp inhale and a nod answered you finally.

 

“Words, Lena. Please.” You pressed a gentle kiss at the base of her throat and halted all other movements.

 

“If I didn’t want this, girl of steel,” she worked her hand between the both of you, nails grazing against the suit before shimming her hand down her skirt. You watched transfixed as she worked her hand over her pussy.

 

You inhaled and smelt her scent in the air, groaning lightly at the sweetness of it. You couldn’t wait to taste her.

 

She brought her hand out with a small grunt, fingers gleaming with her wetness. She slowly brought her hand up and displayed it to you, “I wouldn’t be this wet for you, now would I?” Her eyes sparkled with lust as you took her hand in yours and guided her digits to your mouth.

 

The taste washed over your senses as you sucked lightly, moaning at the taste. Savory and smooth, but oh so very  _ Lena _ .

 

“Tell me what you want.”

 

You felt a wave of lust wash over you as you stared into her eyes, a hot searing heat as it sped through your body. You saw the concern flash through her eyes but it only lasted mere seconds as she took your head in her hands and brought you up to kiss her roughly.

 

This kiss was all tongue and teeth, swirling together before her teeth grazed your lips. Moans were loud and frequent, neither of you caring about the sounds you made.

 

You grabbed her hips and held her still, her writhing underneath you was pleasant but you wanted more.  _ Needed more. _

 

You pulled away from her lips, grunting as she attacked your neck fervently with bites and kisses. Your fingers dug lightly into her soft skin, kneading slowly as she worked her way down. But a hot wave washed over you and you leaned away from Lena, getting a groan of reluctance from her before a yelp of surprise as you turned her over onto her stomach. She breathed heavily into the couch now as you worked your fingers up her skirt, trailing along her smooth skin quickly, hiking up her skirt to bunch around her waist, her hands shot out to grip the arm of the couch, pulling herself along the length of it as she situated herself under you perfectly.

 

Pushing the drenched cloth to the side, you pushed three fingers into her. A loud groan, almost scream, broke the silence. You pressed your hips against the back of your hand, a welcomed pressure rubbing against your clit adding a small fuel to the fire you felt burning it’s way around your body.

 

Moving your hand from her shoulder to the couch, steadying yourself above her, you curled your fingers in her and waited as she relaxed in the slightest.

 

“F-fuck Kara…”

 

You pulled back, fingers grazing her entrance teasingly, before thrusting back in her with a growl, “Don't talk, not unless I say so. Understood? Nod.”

 

She let out a shuddering gasp as she leaned up on her forearms, nodding vigorously to your words. You curled your fingers again and started a fast pace, her gasps and whines joining your grunts of exertion.

 

You leaned down and bit her shoulder as softly as you could against your erratic motions. Lena’s moans and desperate clawing fueled you even more, fueled the burning in you to the point of pain. But it’s delicious tendrils gripped you more and more as the seconds went by and a small voice in the back of your head was getting more faint, quieter and quieter.

 

_ This is not you… _

 

\\-/-\\-/

 

Lena’s sleeping form was the only thing you saw in colour, everything else was grey and misty. She had fainted an hour after you had gotten to her office and,  _ Rao’s grace _ , some part of you had emerged and stopped everything. The need and hunger was very much still present but you had enough control to stop with Lena.

 

You were aware enough that something was wrong with you, but also unaware enough to not care. Half of you wanted to go see Alex whilst the other half wanted to fly around and find others. Others like you.

 

Others that were desperate for this.

 

You stared at Lena still, counting the rise and fall of her chest. Counting her breaths and beats of her heart.

 

You wanted to leave, truly, leave and find some way to satiate this hunger burning everything inside you.

 

But yet, you watched the raven haired woman with a certain rapture that even the small voice in your head stayed quiet for. Her smooth porcelain skin unblemished and free of clothes, free and open for your eyes. The only blemishes on her were the ones you left, rough love bites and nips, small bruises and red marks. Pride swelled in your chest as you glanced over them, a strong wave of possessiveness struck you hard and a smile spread across your face as you reached out, army crawling slightly, to brush your fingers along her arm.

 

Her eyes fluttered slowly; pulling back, you watched her situate herself to better face you, her body molding to yours perfectly. Her hips pressed softly against your left thigh, legs tangling yours, and forehead resting against your hand.

 

You didn’t dare breathe now, afraid any movement would wake this woman.

 

Concentrated so much on her breath, you almost jumped back when she spoke, “You haven’t slept.”

 

“No.”

 

A hum answered you. You quickly fixed yourself so your body faced her and you could wrap your arms around her, teeth grazing her cheek softly, eliciting a giggle.

 

“As much as I want to continue, I need more sleep, a comfy bed, and some water.”

 

A fire ripped across you and you had supersped to trap her on the floor, your hips grinding against hers roughly, making a low moan escape her opened mouth. Her protests started in the back of her throat but you didn’t hear anything over the roaring in your ears. The sound of your blood rushing around in you was all you could hear, the restraint your muscles put up against yourself wants was louder by the second.

 

_ This isn’t me, what...is...happening… _

 

“Kara! Stop! Y-you’re hurting me!”

 

You flung yourself away and zipped straight back into your discarded suit, moving fast enough to seem like a blur to Lena, but slow enough to yourself that it felt like you were wading in too deep of ice cold water. And you knew that you had to see Alex. that you _had_ to go to the DEO. Something was wrong and it wasn’t helping staying here with Lena, wasn’t helping _hurting_ _Lena._

 

\\-/-\\-/

 

“...and you...um...did things, with Lena Luthor.”

 

Your arms covered your head while you lay under the sun lamps recovering after Alex’s tests. Red kryptonite was found in your system and there was a lot of it. It had taken at least an hour for agents to wrangle you into the med bay, it had taken over again when you had landed heavily on the open balcony and everyone knew something was wrong in that moment.

 

It had taken even longer for them to flush the kryptonite out of you. It was at least two days ago when you were infected, two days from seeing Lena.

 

“Yeah, I...we uh had sex in her office.”

 

Alex held onto her tablet a little tighter at those words, “Was it consensual?”

 

You sat up immediately, arms straightening out to steady yourself at the sudden wave of dizziness that hit you. “I would not do that if there wasn’t consent from her.”

 

“Red K is an inhibitor for Kryptonians. You told me-” 

 

“I told you I couldn’t control my body. My mind is a different thing.”

 

You felt anger coil in your muscles as you tried so desperately to stay put on the bed. You couldn’t believe how out of context Alex was taking things.

 

“You tried to kill me once while under its influence.” Her voice was low, cautious and soft. But the emotions ran straight into your chest and strangled you.

 

She was right. You didn’t have control over yourself during that time. You had tried to kill her.

 

The thoughts from that time tumbled effortlessly back to you and hot tears pricked the back of your eyes as your heart jumped into your throat and throbbed painfully.

 

A warm hand tentatively touched your stomach while another rubbed softly along your bicep. “Hey it’s okay. I’m still here. I’m still with you.”

 

You uncurled your arms and sat up, meeting Alex’s familiar frame. She hugged as hard as she could, clinging tightly to you and your sobbing body. You let loose against her, nuzzling her shoulder and letting the fear and pain and anguish overtake you. Your limbs felt as if weighed heavily with lead, your lungs burning with the need to breathe, your chest aching with the pain of almost losing another world.

 

The knowledge of you being that cause made something weigh heavy in you. The knowledge of being the most powerful being on Earth with no one as your equal was torturingly sad..

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if y'all want a part two! :D


End file.
